


pretty setter squad gc

by creamymilkshake



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Group chat, Just Dudes Being Dudes, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Pretty Setter Squad, Rated T for swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Skype, idk how to use the tags, not everyone tagged is actually in the fic, some characters are mentioned for like 5 seconds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9455399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creamymilkshake/pseuds/creamymilkshake
Summary: 1:14 p.m.gaylien added milky, Sugawara Koushi, kk, pretty boi, creampuff, sheet review and semicircle to the group.gaylien: hello friendsmilky: i don't agree, oikawa-san.Sugawara Koushi: What is this?pretty boi: What is this?creampuff: don't do thissemicircle: owo what's thissheet review: wtfkk: ^ i agree(aka the pretty setter squad groupchat, kinda canon but not really lmao, also everyone wants to die)(on hiatus for a few weeks! don't worry, i'll be back soon with more updates! - s, 2/18/18)





	1. monopoly king strikes again

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [national hot dad alliance is now calling...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683) by [dicaeopolis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dicaeopolis/pseuds/dicaeopolis), [owlinaminor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlinaminor/pseuds/owlinaminor). 



> hello friends! this is actual trash. read at your own risk lmao.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sheet review: how do you lose an entire laptop
> 
> Monopoly King™: The same way you lose your shot at Nationals
> 
> creampuff: lmao
> 
> kk: lmao
> 
> Sugar Daddy: Lmao
> 
> gaylien: LMAO
> 
> semicircle: LMAOOO
> 
> semicircle: oh wait that's my team
> 
> sheet review: fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda short lmao oops

1:14 p.m.

 **gaylien** _added_ **milky** , **Sugawara Koushi** , **kk** , **pretty boi** , **creampuff** , **sheet review** _and_ **semicircle** _to the group_

 **gaylien** : hello friends

 **milky** : i don't agree.

 **Sugawara Koushi** : What is this?

 **pretty boi** : What is this?

 **creampuff** : don't do this

 **semicircle** : owo what's this

 **sheet review** : wtf

 **kk** : ^ i agree

 **gaylien** : guys it’s a group chat lmao

 **gaylien** : but just for setters

 **milky** _left the group_

 **gaylien** _added_ **milky** _to the group_

 **milky** : let me leave.

 **creampuff** : free him

 **pretty boi** : Who is who?

 **semicircle** : i’m semi from shiratorizawa

 **milky** : i am kageyama tobio, 1st year setter from karasuno high school, in the miyagi prefecture.

 **sheet review** : i’m shirabu from shiratorizawa

 **creampuff** : i’m yahaba from seijoh

 **sheet review** : wtf

 **creampuff** : wtf

 **creampuff** : why is your name "sheet review"

 **semicircle** : lmfao his name got autocorrected to "sheet review" when he made his username 

 **gaylien** : it went from shirabu to sheet review?

 **sheet review** : yes

 **creampuff** : lmao

 **sheet review** : stfu creamy boy

 **sheet review** : i know how to change it but yeah

 **kk** : same

 **milky** : suga-san, why is your username just your name?

 **Sugawara Koushi** : Oh, I don't know how to change it

 **gaylien** _changed_ **Sugawara Koushi's** _name to_ **Sugar Daddy**

 **Sugar Daddy** : Change it back

 **semicircle** : lol

 **creampuff** : wait who's kk

 **kk** : i'm kenma

 **pretty boi** : (He goes to Nekoma High School).

 **gaylien** : thanks for the insight akaashi

 **milky** : kenma-san! hinata says hello.

 **kk** : tell shouyou i said hi

 **milky** : on it!

 **gaylien** : so pure :)

 **Sugar Daddy** : Change my name back ugly

 **gaylien** : :(

 **sheet review** : this isn't a true setter chat

 **gaylien** : how dare you come into my house and insult my work

 **kk** : what do you mean 

 **sheet review** _added_ **Monopoly King™** _and_ **reverse adidas symbol** _to the chat_

 **pretty boi** : Who?

 **Monopoly King™** : Yes hello it's Moniwa

 **gaylien** : dam n

 **gaylien** : i knew i forgot someone

 **sheet review** : you're a failure

 **creampuff** : just like you :)

 **sheet review** : just like your entire team :)

 **creampuff** : wanna fight :)

 **sheet review** : bring it on :)

 **semicircle** : y'all wild

 **semicircle** : why is your name monopoly king

 **pretty boi** : You must be very good at monopoly.

 **gaylien** : thanks for the insight akaashi

 **kk** : who's reverse adidas symbol

 **Monopoly King™** : The monopoly king thing is a long story

 **Monopoly King™** : Reverse adidas symbol is Koganegawa

 **Monopoly King™** : He lost his laptop? So he won't be responding for awhile

 **sheet review** : how do you lose an entire laptop

 **Monopoly King™** : The same way you lose your shot at Nationals

 **creampuff** : lmao

 **kk** : lmao

 **Sugar Daddy** : Lmao

 **gaylien** : LMAO

 **semicircle** : LMAOOO

 **semicircle** : oh wait that's my team

 **sheet review** : fuck

 **sheet review** : what the fuck are you laughing about yahaba

 **sheet review** : as i recall, you guys didn't even qualify for the final match to go to nationals :)

 **creampuff** : stfu

 **gaylien** : stfu

 **gaylien** : whatever  
  
**gaylien** : none of us are playing @ nationals

 **kk** : i am

 **milky** : i am.

 **pretty boi** : I am.

 **Sugar Daddy** : I am

 **gaylien** _left the_ _group_

 **pretty boi** : Yes.

 **milky** _added_ **gaylien** _to the group_

 **gaylien** : i can't do this anymore

 **Monopoly King™** : I agree

 **sheet review** : you guys are so ugly

 **semicircle** : nationals is boring anyways

 **semicircle** : chilling @ home is a nice break from all the times i went to nationals

 **gaylien** : i can't relate but i agree

 **creampuff** : same

 **Monopoly King™** : Yes

 **gaylien** : ANYWAYS did i forget anyone else

 **milky** : sadly.

 **milky** _added_ **miyahh** _to the group_

 **sheet review** : who

 **miyahh** : oh hi

 **miyahh** : i'm miya atsumu and me and tobio went to training camp together!

 **sheet review** : *tobio and i

 **semicircle** : welcom

 **kk** : welcom

 **gaylien** : welcom

 **milky** : welcome.

 **Sugar Daddy** : Kageyama, you didn't tell me about this friend of yours :)

 **milky** : oh would you look at the time.

 **milky** _left the group_

 **Sugar Daddy** _added_ **milky** _to the g_ _roup_

 **milky** : why.

 **pretty boi** : Hello, Miya.

 **miyahh** : heyyy 

 **miyahh** : who are you guys tho

 **kk** : read up

 **semicircle** : ^^^

 **miyahh** : okay

 **milky** _left the group_

 **miyahh** _added_ **milky** _to the g_ _roup_

 **milky** : why.

 **gaylien** : stop leaving the chat, tobio-chan!!

 **sheet review** : yeah tobio-chan

 **gaylien** : great now we're all here

 **pretty boi** : What about Johzenji's setter or Nohebi's setter?

 **milky** : what is a nohebi?

 **gaylien** : goddammit

 **gaylien** : does anyone have their skype's?

 **pretty boi** : No.

 **gaylien** : thanks

 **gaylien** : that was very insightful akaashi

 **milky** : ?

 **Sugar Daddy** : Oh well

 **sheet review** : tragic

4:58 p.m. 

 **milky** : since this chat is specifically for setters only, we should talk amongst ourselves.

 **milky** : preferably about game strategies.

 **miyahh** : you ain't slick

 

 

 

 


	2. 5/20 blaze it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gaylien: i can't hear without my glasses

8:49 p.m.

 **semicircle** : what does it mean if someone messages you a "hey" with 3 y's

 **miyahh** : like heyyy

 **gaylien** : S U C C

 **sheet review** : wtf

 **sheet review** : who would message you a "hey" with 3 y's

 **Monopoly King™** : You

 **sheet review** : i am...disgusted

 **creampuff** : lmaooo

 **sheet review** : shut the fuck up yahaba

 **sheet review** : don't yoy have a big gay crush on oinkawa

 **kk** : "yoy"

 **miyahh** : "oinkawa"

 **gaylien** : oh my

 **gaylien** : yahaba, i never knew you felt this way ;)

 **creampuff** : shut up oinkawa

 **gaylien** : so rude to your senpai!! ;(

 **creampuff** : listen here you shitlord

 **creampuff** : you really wanna talk big gay crushes?

 **creampuff** : because i have receipts for that purchase

 **miyahh** : holy shit

 **Sugar Daddy** : Oh shit I left for 5 seconds

 **milky** : holy shit.

 **Sugar Daddy** : Don't swear

 **milky** : !!

 **pretty boi** : Oh my.

 **semicircle** : this is too much

 **semicircle** : y'all too wild

 **sheet review** : i

 **sheet review** : yoy kno what? you are jut a bum who is jealous of me becase im a starter and im ongly a secinds yar an d you are a secinds yar who only playegd in liuke 2 games which you fucked up btw with yoyr angry bee boyfriuend so if i wre yiou i would porbably commit sewerside

 **sheet review** : so try me bich i bet youre all talk and no tyalk likeu iyouir mad d0gy

 **gaylien** : i can't hear without my glasses

 **pretty boi** : Is he okay? That grammar is atrocious. Worse than Bokuto's.

 **Monopoly King™** : Why are you acting like you just made a Yelp review

 **miyahh** : "worse than bokuto, do not buy this product" - akaashi keiji, yelping since 2008

 **milky** : i don't understand.

 **semicircle** : when he gets angry he presses on the keys too hard

 **semicircle** : and too fast

 **kk** : tag yourself i'm "youre all"

 **milky** : i'm "commit sewerside".

 **gaylien** : i'm "mad d0gy"

 **miyahh** : i'm "secinds yar"

 **Monopoly King™** : This chat makes me cry 

 **Sugar Daddy** : I'm? Concerned?

 **creampuff** _sent a photo to the group_

 **creampuff** _sent a photo to the group_

 **creampuff** _sent a photo to the group_

 **creampuff** _sent a photo to the group_

 **creampuff** _sent a photo to the group_

 **miyahh** : OH MY GOD

 **gaylien** : MY FUCKING EYES

 **Monopoly King™** : I CAN"T BELIEVE

 **pretty boi** : Holy shit.

 **milky** : is that? semi-san and shirabu-san? 

 **milky** : ???

 **milky** : i have a lot of questions.

 **miyahh** : these photos are lowkey going into my wank bank

 **kk** : i can't believe you said "wank bank"

 **Sugar Daddy** : WHAT KIND OF ATROCITY

 **gaylien** : I WANT TO COMMIT SEWERSIDE

 **reverse adidas symbol** : hey guys so i found my laptop! it was under my bed haha

 **reverse adidas symbol** : what's going on

 **reverse adidas symbol** : wait

 **reverse adidas symbol** : OH MY GOD

 **reverse adidas symbol** _left the group_

 **Monopoly King™** : OH MY GOD LMAOOO

 **kk** : i'm

 **Monopoly King™** _added_ **reverse adidas symbol** _to the group_

 **gaylien** : MY SON

 **kk** : lmao

 **reverse adidas symbol** : i want to die

 **pretty boi** : Are you okay, Koganegawa?

 **reverse adidas symbol** : i wish i could answer that

 **semicircle** : i

 **semicircle** : i can't believe what i just witnessed

 **semicircle** : i know about the pic of me and shirabu because it was a dare

 **gaylien** : didn't seem like a dare ;)

 **semicircle** : but i feel especially victimized by shirabu and goshiki???

 **creampuff** : these photos are only 5/20 blackmail photos i have of him

 **gaylien** : how many do you have of me 

 **creampuff** : like 137? 

 **miyahh** : that's too specific lmaoo

 **semicircle** : but can we talk about that photo of terushima and shirabu

 **Monopoly King™** : I am dead inside 

 **reverse adidas symbol** : everyday we stray further from god's light

 **milky** : i thought you and shirabu-san were dating?

 **semicircle** : that's a gross idea lmao 

 **miyahh** : after what we just witnessed

 **miyahh** : it looks like a good time to me 

 **semicircle** : ANYWAYS

 **semicircle** : but terushima??

 **milky** : what's wrong with him?

 **gaylien** : terushima aka "i fuck anyone who's ever touched a volleyball"

 **Sugar Daddy** : True 

 **Sugar Daddy** : But he's nice 

 **Sugar Daddy** : When he's not flirting with my boyfriend

 **gaylien** : i sense bitterness

 **pretty boi** : I can confirm. 

 **pretty boi** : Terushima gets with everyone, it's a very well known fact.

 **kk** : who hasn't hooked up with terushima

 **pretty boi** : Are you asking a question?

 **kk** : sure

 **milky** : i haven't.

 **milky** : but i don't want to either.

 **Sugar Daddy** : Uhhh

 **gaylien** : ummmmm

 **milky** : you guys can't be serious.

 **milky** : it's terushima.

 **miyahh** : didn't you just ask what's wrong with terushima

 **milky** : yeah but now i remember who he is.

 **miyahh** : that's cold lmaoo

 **Sugar Daddy** : How do you know who he is? 

 **miyahh** : how do you know 

 **Sugar Daddy** : You got me there 

 **semicircle** : are you guys fucking with me 

 **semicircle** : WHO HERE HAS HOOKED UP WITH TERUSHIMA

 **gaylien** : i might have 

 **gaylien** : once or twice 

 **gaylien** : probably twice 

 **semicircle** : AHHHHHHHHHH

 **reverse adidas symbol** : why is he activated 

 **Monopoly King™** _changed_ **semicircle** _'s name to_ **semi-erect**

 **semi-erect** : ANYONE ELSE

 **pretty boi** : Once.

 **pretty boi** : Regretfully.

 **Monopoly King™** : I haven't

 **Monopoly King™** : But you guys seem to like that orange man so oh well

 **gaylien** : "orange man"

 **milky** : disgusting.

 **Sugar Daddy** : I hooked up with him only once 

 **Sugar Daddy** : I swear it was an accident 

 **gaylien** : how do you hook up with someone on accident 

 **Sugar Daddy** : It happens more often than you think  

 **pretty boi** : I can't believe we're having this conversation.

 **creampuff** : y'all

 **semi-erect** : yahaba why did you kill shirabu

 **semi-erect** : he hasn't been online for over an hour

 **creampuff** : why have you guys been talking about terushima for an hour

 **semi-erect** : NOT YOU TOO

 **gaylien** : yahaba, just in time 

 **gaylien** : have you hooked up with our dear friend terushima 

 **creampuff** : what a weird thing to ask

 **creampuff** : but the answer is yes

 **semi-erect** : OH MY FUCKING GOD

 **Sugar Daddy** : Oh my

 **creampuff** : it was only once

 **creampuff** : it's basically a right of passage for volleyball players in miyagi

 **miyahh** : apparently in tokyo too 

 **kk** : shady

 **pretty boi** : ^ I agree.

 **gaylien** : what about you kenma

 **kk** : ...

 **milky** : i refuse to believe this.

 **kk** : yeah a few times

 **gaylien** : HOLD UP

 **reverse adidas symbol** : we dem boyz

 **semi-erect** : WAIT WHAT 

 **semi-erect** : A FEW TIMES???

 **kk** : okay but you guys all hooked up with him why is this so surprising 

 **milky** : leave me out of this narrative.

 **Monopoly King™** : This is some gay shit right here

 **creampuff** : i'm shook 

 **pretty boi** : I did not expect this from you, Kenma.

 **gaylien** : you sound disappointed 

 **pretty boi** : I'm not.

 **gaylien** : it's the proper grammar 

 **gaylien** : it makes us uncomfortable 

 **Sugar Daddy** : But proper grammar is the way to go 

 **gaylien** : WE'LL COME BACK TO THIS

 **gaylien** : now 

 **gaylien** : back to the topic at hand 

 **miyahh** : this is some information i never knew i needed  

 **miyahh** : it's lowkey hot tho

 **gaylien** : true 

 **gaylien** : now i'm gay

 **semi-erect** : STOP 

 **semi-erect** : smh miya

 **semi-erect** : idk you but i feel you 100% 

 **miyahh** : aw babe ;)

 **semi-erect** : ;)

 **gaylien** : this is no time to be gay  

 **milky** : kenma-san.

 **milky** : why.

 **kk** : drop the honorifics

 **kk** : we're friends

 **milky** : !!

 **miyahh** : the thought of kenma with terushima is pretty hot tbh

 **Monopoly King™** : I agree

 **Sugar Daddy** : What

 **pretty boi** : I agree.

 **kk** : !!

 **semi-erect** : omg guys

 **semi-erect** : shirabu is online 

 **creampuff** : yeehaw

 **gaylien** : jesus take the wheel

 **milky** : i'm crying.

 **semi-erect** : why am i crying in da club rn

 **sheet review** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **sheet review** : I WENT TO GO EAT DINNER AND I COME BACK TO THIS MUTINY 

 **sheet review** : I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL EVERYONE HERE 

 **reverse adidas symbol** : why do i come online at the worst time 

 **gaylien** : why did miya bust a nut over kenma and terushima

 **miyahh** : idk but stop mentioning it or i might do it again 

 **pretty boi** : It's not that bad, Shirabutt.

 **creampuff** : SHIRABUTT

 **Sugar Daddy** : Hahaha

 **miyahh** : LMAO I'M DEAD 

 **semi-erect** : I CAN'T 

 **pretty boi** : I didn't mean to send that!

 **pretty boi** : It was a typo!

 **gaylien** : the fact that it's akaashi aka grammar extraordinaire makes it 80% more funny 

 **sheet review** : SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **reverse adidas symbol** : guys moniwa just started crying of laughter and slipped and hit his head 

 **reverse adidas symbol** : i think he's dead 

 **reverse adidas symbol** _sent a photo to the group_  

 **gaylien** : your username is too long it hurts my eyes 

 **gaylien** : it hurts my ears 

 **Sugar Daddy** _changed_ **reverse adidas symbol** _'s name to_ **krispy kreme**

 **Sugar Daddy** : Guess who just learned how to change usernames 

 **krispy kreme** : why am i krispy kreme

 **pretty boi** : Because your initials are K.K. 

 **kk** : oh god

 **krispy kreme** : who is the real me 

 **krispy kreme** : what does your kk stand for 

 **creampuff** : it stands for kazoo kid 

 **creampuff** _changed_ **kk** _'s name to_ **kazoo kid**  

 **milky** : what is a kazoo kid?

 **pretty boi** : <https://youtu.be/cRpdIrq7Rbo>

 **creampuff** : don't forget the remix:

 **creampuff** :  ****<https://youtu.be/g-sgw9bPV4A>

 **milky** : oh okay.

 **gaylien** : we should address the grammar issue

 **pretty boi** : ?

 **Sugar Daddy** : Ugh

 **Monopoly King™** : No 

 **Monopoly King™** : It'll make me feel old

 **gaylien** : chill 

 **gaylien** : anyways

 **gaylien** : it makes it harder to detect sarcasm (akasshi)

 **miyahh** : also what if you see a really funny meme and you have to reply very fast but you take your time to add punctuation and uppercase letters

 **miyahh** : it's too much

 **Sugar Daddy** : is this better?

 **pretty boi** : there is no point to this.

 **miyahh** : lmao akaashi

 **miyahh** : you type like kageyama now

 **Monopoly King™** : this makes me sad

 **gaylien** : that's better

 **gaylien** : it's easier on the eyes

 **sheet review** : why is your eyesight so awful

 **sheet review** : everything in this godforsaken chat hurts your eyes

 **creampuff** : yeah put your glasses on

 **kazoo kid** : glasses?

 **gaylien** : SHUT UP YAHABA

 **semi-erect** : why am i crying in da club rn

 **krispy kreme** : who did this

2:54 a.m.

 **semi-erect** : shirabu did you actually hook up with terushima

 **sheet review** : no

 **sheet review** : go to sleep 

3:00 a.m.

 **gaylien** : shut the fuck up

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what happened in this chapter but before i posted this, my laptop charger thingy fell so i went to go plug it in again and miscalculated and hit the corner of the desk really hard. now i might have a black eye but oh well. also this entire thing is not beta'd btw.
> 
> important link: https://youtu.be/g-sgw9bPV4A


	3. y'all's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugar Daddy: you city slickers wouldn't understand

7:54 a.m.

 **gaylien** : do you guys think that iwa-chan will beat me up if i skip class 

 **Sugar Daddy** : most likely 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i'm repressing the urge to type in proper grammar 

 **gaylien** : okay but did i ask

9:13 a.m.

 **krispy kreme** : guys

 **krispy kreme** : i fell asleep in class and had a dream that futakuchi beat my ass so i woke up and he beat my ass 

 **Monopoly King™** : this is true i can 100% confirm 

 **semi-erect** : tell me why i was in class and i wrote two sentences on my paper and my hand cramped up

 **gaylien** : me too

 **sheet review** : you're not even in class

 **sheet review** : you illiterate bitch

11:24 a.m.

 **gaylien** : GUYS HLEP

 **gaylien** : IWA-CHAN SHOWED UP TO MY HOUSE AND KILLED ME

 **gaylien** : HE'S MAKING ME GO TO SCHOOL AHHHHHHHHHHH

 **creampuff** : good

 **kazoo kid** : hlep

 **gaylien** : which one of you uglies snitched on me 

 **gaylien** : i bet it was you, the worst kouhai on earth™ 

 **creampuff** : no i told kunimi

 **creampuff** : and kunimi told iwaizumi

 **gaylien** : i'm gonna kill him

 **gaylien** : and myself

 **Sugar Daddy** : if kunimi didn't tell iwaizumi, i would have 

 **milky** : me too.

 **gaylien** : i'm gonna beat you up

 **Sugar Daddy** : try getting past daichi first :)

 **gaylien** : you and your thicc thighed boyfriend disgust me 

 **krispy kreme** : he thicc

 **semi-erect** : some girl just confessed to me lmao 

 **sheet review** : wtf the fuck

 **pretty boi** : what did you say?

 **semi-erect** : i basically gave her that whole speech about volleyball taking up 87% of my time

 **semi-erect** : and what not 

 **sheet review** : who would even go for you, you're so emo

 **semi-erect** : i also might have told her i'm into big tits

 **gaylien** : WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT 

 **semi-erect** : i did it for the vine 

 **pretty boi** : vine is dead.

 **gaylien** : thanks for the insight akaashi

 **kazoo kid** : that probably wasn't a good idea 

 **semi-erect** : i don't wanna hear about good ideas from the person who hooked up with terushima 20 times

 **kazoo kid** : it was four times 

 **kazoo kid** : and one time didn't even count because it was a threesome 

 **semi-erect** : THAT'S EVEN WORSE 

 **kazoo kid** : oh well 

 **miyahh** : i'm nutting

 **milky** : how do you nut?

 **gaylien** : BYE 

 **semi-erect** : BYE x2 

 **sheet review** : BYE x3

 **krispy kreme** : it's when you um

 **krispy kreme** : (ejaculate) 

 **Monopoly King™** : just because you put it in parenthesis doesn't make it invisible 

 **krispy kreme** : (leave me alone)

 12:39 p.m.

 **gaylien** : guys i just noticed there's no name for this group chat 

 **pretty boi** : did you enable the settings for it?

 **gaylien** : i just did 

 **creampuff** _named the group_ " **yeehaw** "

 **sheet review** : that's possibly the worst name you could've come up with

 **creampuff** : just like yours :)

 **sheet review** : stfu your name sounds like the name of that witch in spirited away 

 **semi-erect** _sent a photo to_ " **yeehaw** "

 **semi-erect** : yubaba lmaooo

 **gaylien** : ew she's ugly 

 **creampuff** : don't forget 

 **creampuff** : 5/20

 **sheet review** : fuck 

 **gaylien** _changed_ **creampuff** _'s name to_ **yubaba**

 **yubaba** : 137

 **gaylien** : fuck

 **pretty boi** : do you have pictures of all of us?

 **yubaba** : yeah

 **milky** : even akaashi-san?

 **yubaba** : yeah but i have only 7 

 **kazoo kid** : there are only seven bad photos of akaashi on this earth 

 **kazoo kid** : how do you have them all

 **pretty boi** : what.

 **yubaba** : i have connections 

 **gaylien** : (yakuza)

 **Monopoly King™** : JUST BECAUSE YOU PUT IT IN PARENTHESIS DOESN'T MAKE IT INVISIBLE 

4:32 p.m.

 **miyahh** : GUYS 

 **miyahh** : GUESS WHO I JUST MET 

 **gaylien** : who!!

 **miyahh** : THE ORANGE MAN

 **milky** : donald trump?

 **semi-erect** : ^ too soon lmaooo

 **miyahh** : TERUSHIMA

 **semi-erect** : that's my trigger word 

 **kazoo kid** : oh god 

 **pretty boi** : why can't we move on from this.

 **pretty boi** : we always come back full circle to it.

 **miyahh** : i just wanted to say that i understand the hype 

 **milky** : what hype?

 **miyahh** : the hype about terushima

 **gaylien** : bitch

 **gaylien** : you didn't 

 **miyahh** : :)

 **Sugar Daddy** : i can't believe this 

 **Monopoly King™** : D I S G U S T I N G

 **gaylien** : on a side note iwa-chan is looking gorgeous today 

 **gaylien** _sent a photo to_ " **yeehaw"**

 **Sugar Daddy** : that photo is much appreciated 

 **milky** : oh wow.

 **Monopoly King™** : delicious 

 **sheet review** : ^ blocked

 **semi-erect** : that photo cleansed my soul

 **semi-erect** : the same soul that was sullied by y'all's sexual exploits with terushima

 **kazoo kid** : y'all's

 **pretty boi**   _named the group_ " **y'all's** "

 **Sugar Daddy** : you city slickers wouldn't understand 

 **semi-erect** : damn

 **semi-erect** : i've been hanging around ushijima too much

 **milky** : is he a farmer?

 **sheet review** : Ushijima Wakatoshi is a respectable volleyball player. I will not allow these false rumors to spread. He has no affiliation with the agricultural industry. Shut your mouth.

 **yubaba** : what the fuck

 **Sugar Daddy** : Don't talk to my son that way!!

 **gaylien** : how come when shirabu is mad he types like he's never used technology but when he gets activated he types like a professor?

 **krispy kreme** : a real mystery 

 **semi-erect** : his trigger word is "ushijima"

 **krispy kreme** : he's activated 

 **miyahh** : idk who iowa-chan is but he has nice arms 

 **gaylien** : IOWA-CHAN

 **Monopoly King™** : i'm wheezing

 **yubaba** : he's too good for you, oinkawa

 **gaylien** : say that to my face bitch and i'll kick you and your angry bee boyfriend off the team 

 **yubaba** : do you even hold that power anymore? shouldn't you be preparing for university?

 **Sugar Daddy** : the underclassmen at seijoh make me scared

 **Sugar Daddy** : thank god that kageyama is a sweetheart 

 **milky** : thank you!!

 **semi-erect** : he's ruthless

 **semi-erect** : even against his senpai

 **gaylien** : NOW YOU LISTEN HERE 

 **miyahh** _added_ **fermentation** _to_ " **y'all's** " 

 **Monopoly King™** : who is he

 **fermentation** : motherfucker i'm him 

 **sheet review** : who

 **fermentation** : lol i'm one of terushima's friends 

 **fermentation** : i'm futamata, from johzenji :)

 **semi-erect** : TERUSHIMA

 **gaylien** : stop!

 **gaylien** : you have violated the law

 **fermentation** : lmao what the fuck

 **kazoo kid** : you said his trigger word 

 **fermentation** : oh did you hook up with him 

 **fermentation** : if he didn't ask for your phone # that means it's a one time thing btw if that's why you're mad that he never reached out to you after

 **miyahh** : haha bitches he asked for my #

 **pretty boi** : are we supposed to be impressed by that?

 **Monopoly King™** : let him live out his dream

 **fermentation** : who are you guys tho

 **yubaba** : read up 

 **fermentation** : okie dokie 

 **gaylien** : he said "okie dokie"

 **gaylien** : i love him 

 **Sugar Daddy** : oh great all we need is nohebi's setter to join the group

 **milky** : nohebi?

 **kazoo kid** : it's a school

 **Sugar Daddy** : the snake one?

 **pretty boi** : yes.

 **pretty boi** : doesn't kuroo hate them? 

 **kazoo kid** : yeah lmao

 **yubaba** : why

 **kazoo kid** : he said that they're snakes 

 **milky** : snakes are cool.

 **gaylien** : you would know 

 **gaylien** : since you're a snake :)

 **Sugar Daddy** : Shut your filthy mouth 

 **Sugar Daddy** : does your school even have a mascot?

 **miyahh** : ^ yeah i also wanted to know

 **miyahh** :guys what are your school mascots 

 **milky** : crows.

 **pretty boi** : owls.

 **kazoo kid** : cats

 **sheet review** : eagles

 **krispy kreme** : walls 

 **semi-erect** : ^ wtf

 **fermentation** : bananas 

 **gaylien** : now that i think about it

 **gaylien** : we really don't have a mascot 

 **sheet review** : actually you do 

 **gaylien** : what is it?

 **sheet review** : your mascot is

 **sheet review** : disappointment 

 **gaylien** : FUCK YOU 

 **miyahh** : LMAOOOOOOO

 **Sugar Daddy** : hahahaha

 **Monopoly King™** : HE GOT YOU THERE 

 **yubaba** _sent a photo to_ " **y'all's** "

 **yubaba** : 6/20

 **semi-erect** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **fermentaton** : yooo what the fuck

 **Monopoly King™** : SHIRABU

 **Monopoly King™** : YOU NEED JESUS 

 **Sugar Daddy** : goodbye friends i am gone 

 **kazoo kid** : wow

 **pretty boi** : i did not need to see that.

 **miyahh** : I DID 

 **krispy kreme** : STOP NUTTING

 **miyahh** : I CAN'T STOP 

 **milky** : oh no he's activated.

 **sheet review** : FUCK

 **sheet review** : fck yoy yagaba youre the uglyiest person i hafve ever met i hiope yoy die a vwergy painfgyuk dreath yoy bich

 **gaylien** : i'm so proud 

 **gaylien** : our mascot is yahaba

 **Monopoly King™** : LMAO

 **yubaba** : take that back 

 **gaylien** : never

 **yubaba** _sent a photo to_ " **y'all's** "

 **yubaba** : 1/137

 **gaylien** : FUCK 

 **gaylien** : DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT

 **Sugar Daddy** : god help me 

 **milky** : !!

 **miyahh** : holy hell 

 **miyahh** : i can't even nut anymore smh

 **sheet review** : get fucked, oikawa

 **pretty boi** : i don't know what to say anymore.

 **Monopoly King™** : i feel like i'm going to hell just by looking at that photo

 **krispy kreme** : it's like second hand smoking 

 **kazoo kid** : second hand sinning

 **krispy kreme** : other kk, you're the only one who understands me 

 **kazoo kid** : duly noted 

 **fermentation** : i love this chat 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm getting my phone taken away for a really long time, but it won't affect the update schedule (if i even have one lmao). i think. idk but i can use my laptop but normally i write drafts on my phone. i think's it's gonna be okay. (i am gonna get it taken away because i got a C+ in algebra 2).


	4. home of sexuals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> semi-erect: this is homophobia and i will not stand for it 
> 
> fermentation: are you a home of sexual 
> 
> fermentation: i meant homosexual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why but it actually took me five days to come up with some plot.

6:28 p.m.

 **miyahh** : most of you guys live in miyahgi right 

 **miyahh** : migaya

 **miyahh** : miayagi

 **miyahh** : migay

 **gaylien** : is that an anagram 

 **gaylien** : migay = i'm gay 

 **krispy kreme** : illuminati confirmed 

 **milky** _changed_ **miyahh** _'s name to_ **miyagi**

 **miyagi** : fuck you guys 

 **miyagi** : anyways 

 **fermentation** : push until you can't and then demand more 

 **fermentation** : determinate 

 **fermentation** : d-determinate 

 **fermentation** : haha

 **fermentation** : i have d-depression 

 **gaylien** : what

 **fermentation** : i'm high 

 **fermentation** : and terushima is forcing me to watch lemonade mouth with him 

 **semi-erect** : TERUSHIMA

 **pretty boi** : it's 6:30 p.m.

 **fermentation** : it's high noon 

 **pretty boi** : it's evening? 

 **milky** : i'm calling the police.

 **milky** : <https://youtu.be/g6cIYDvFS-U>

 **pretty boi** : oh my god.

 **gaylien** : why are you a meme

 **gaylien** : mattsun and makki would be so proud 

 **miyagi** : who 

 **yubaba** : don't worry about it

 **Sugar Daddy** : i'm so proud of my son 

 **Sugar Daddy** : don't do drugs kids!!

 **semi-erect** : uhhhh about that 

 **sheet review** : interesting 

 **Sugar Daddy** : wait

 **Sugar Daddy** : have any of you guys done drugs?

 **yubaba** : depends

 **yubaba** : who's asking 

 **gaylien** : #yahabaisadrugdealer

 **miyagi** _changed_ " **y'all's** " _to_ " **420 blaze it** "

 **yubaba** : 1/137

 **gaylien** : fuck

 **Sugar Daddy** : answer the question! 

 **krispy kreme** : i mean...

 **semi-erect** : who hasn't really 

 **Sugar Daddy** : that's what i'm trying to find out! 

 **gaylien** : i only smoke weed 

 **yubaba** : ^ me too

 **gaylien** : WHAT

 **gaylien** : WHY DO YOU HIDE EVERYTHING FROM ME YAHABA

 **yubaba** : it's not a big deal 

 **yubaba** : you do it too 

 **sheet review** : monkey see, monkey do

 **yubaba** : shut up, shitty review 

 **semi-erect** : lmao

 **Monopoly King™** : hahaha

 **Sugar Daddy** : oikawa! you're such a bad example for your kouhai!

 **gaylien** : IT'S NOT MY FAULT YAHABA IS A FAILURE OF A KOUHAI 

 **yubaba** : have you met hanamaki and matsukawa 

 **yubaba** : they have played matches while high at least 3 times

 **gaylien** : STOP MAKING US LOOK BAD 

 **milky** : i don't do drugs.

 **milky** : i do volleyball.

 **miyagi** : goody two shoes headass

 **Sugar Daddy** : shut the hell up, you don't even know how to spell miyagi correctly 

 **Monopoly King™** : HAHAHA

 **miyagi** : what are you laughing about 

 **miyagi** : "hahaha" headass

 **Monopoly King™** : calm down, migay

 **miyagi** : i hate this chat 

 **krispy kreme** : i don't do drugs 

 **krispy kreme** : i'm already high on life 

 **sheet review** : ^ stop

 **Sugar Daddy** : i'm disappointed 

 **gaylien** : excuse me sugar

 **gaylien** : tanaka and that nishinoya kid are two of the biggest stoners i've ever met

 **gaylien** : and i'm friends with hanamaki and matsukawa so that's saying something 

 **Sugar Daddy** : that's false!

 **yubaba** _sent a photo to_ " **420 blaze it** "

 **yubaba** : i have 68 photos of tanaka and 42 of nishinoya 

 **pretty boi** : that's quite the amount considering you don't even know them.

 **Sugar Daddy** : oh my god 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i'm gonna kill them!

 **milky** _sent a photo to_ " **420 blaze it** "

 **milky** : have this photo, for your collection. 

 **yubaba** : thanks buddy

 **fermentation** : lmao now you have 69 photos of him

 **miyagi** : lmaoo 

 **gaylien** : who's the bad example now 

 **yubaba** : still you

 **yubaba** : since sugawara doesn't do drugs 

 **gaylien** : YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE MY SIDE 

 **Monopoly** **King™** : yeah at least suga's kouhai actually respect him

 **sheet review** : what about futakuchi 

 **Monopoly** **King™** : shut 

 **gaylien** : WHY ARE YOU ALL ROASTING ME 

 **krispy** **kreme** : crispy 

 **sheet** **review** : **krispy

 **kazoo** **kid** : weed isn't even that harmful tbh 

 **semi-erect** : you would know, wouldn't you 

 **semi-erect** : mr. i fucked terushima 4 times 

 **kazoo** **kid** : oh my god 

 **sheet review** : stfu and go suck reon's dick or something, semi

 **semi-erect** : wow

 **semi-erect** : i'm

 **kazoo** **kid** : thanks 

 **sheet** **review** : no prob 

 **yubaba** : shirabu is being nice

 **yubaba** : what a world 

 **sheet** **review** : SHUT UP YOY CRUSTY BICH

 **miyagi** : "bich"

 **milky** : looks like oikawa-san's kouhai aren't the only ones who don't respect him.

 **krispy** **kreme** : this is some good tea

 **Monopoly King™** : ^ this tea is scalding

 **gaylien** : you used to be my kouhai

 **gaylien** : shut up

 **pretty** **boi** : didn't you try to punch him?

 **gaylien** : ANYWAYS

 **gaylien** : tobio-chan respects me

 **gaylien** : he went to me for relationship advice on that shrimpy kid

 **kazoo** **kid** : shoyou

 **gaylien** : yep 

 **milky** : first of all, it wasn't relationship advice.

 **milky** : it was volleyball advice.

 **yubaba** : defensive 

 **miyagi** : interesting 

 **milky** : you guys are all stoners.

 **miyagi** : do you even know what that means

 **Sugar Daddy** : stop bullying my son, you degenerates!!

 **fermentation** : ellen degenerate 

 **sheet review** : ^ just keep trying 

 **semi-erect** : just keep swimming 

 **milky** : this is why you guys are stoners.

 **pretty** **boi** : i smoke with bokuto, kuroo and kenma.

 **pretty boi** : but only sometimes.

 **kazoo** **kid** : like yesterday

 **kazoo** **kid** : and the day before that 

 **pretty** **boi** : !!

 **Monopoly King™** : scandalous 

 **Sugar** **Daddy** : betrayed by another team mom oh my 

 **Sugar** **Daddy** : i am appalled 

 **gaylien** : so you admit that you're the team mom

 **Sugar Daddy** : stop before i call the cops 

 **fermentation** : guys

 **fermentation** : i'm crying

 **sheet review** : why

 **fermentation** : there isn't a sequel to lemonade mouth 

 **sheet review** : stfu

11:11 p.m.

 **gaylien** : guys it's 11:11 make a wish 

 **gaylien** : i wish iwa-chan gives me flowers tomorrow

 **yubaba** : i wish iwaizumi beats you up tomorrow at the bbq

 **gaylien** : how do you delete other people's messages 

 **milky** : i wish they added strawberry milk to the vending machine.

 **kazoo kid** : i wish to meet the black cat i petted yesterday again 

 **pretty** **boi** : i wish bokuto finds his knee-pads and stops using mine. 

 **fermentation** : i wish for a lemonade mouth sequel

 **miyagi** : i wish terushima meets someone else and stops calling me 

 **krispy** **kreme** : i wish people stopped roasting my hair 

 **miyagi** : lmao 

 **miyagi** : it's 11:12 

 **sheet** **review** : that wish doesn't count then

 **krispy** **kreme** : mmm that open window in my room sure looks inviting 

 **krispy** **kreme** : i hope i don't jump out by accident 

 **Sugar** **Daddy** : there's a barbecue?

 **gaylien** : yeah but it's more of a team thing 

 **gaylien** : sorry :(

 **Sugar Daddy** : no it's okay :)

 **semi-erect** : tendou read that over my shoulder 

 **semi-erect** : he wants you to know that he and ushijima are coming 

 **gaylien** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **gaylien** : NO 

 **krispy kreme** : join me at the window

 **gaylien** : IF USHIWAKA COMES THEN I'M GONNA FLING MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW 

 **yubaba** : i hope he comes 

 **miyagi** : do a flip

1:57 p.m.

 **kazoo kid** : my wish came true 

 **kazoo kid** : the cat followed me to practice 

 **kazoo kid** : and kuroo let me keep him 

 **yubaba** : oh cool 

 **yubaba** : what did you name him 

 **kazoo kid** : keno

 **miyagi** : isn't that just "neko" spelled backwards 

 **pretty boi** : kuroo named him, didn't he?

 **kazoo kid** : yeah 

 **pretty boi** : surprisingly enough, my wish also came true.

 **pretty boi** : bokuto found his knee-pads.

 **Monopoly King™** : 2 spooky 4 me 

3:12 p.m.

 **gaylien** : THAT'S IT 

 **gaylien** : I'M LEAVING MY OWN BBQ

 **semi-erect** : ushijima told me he's having a great time 

 **yubaba** : tendou caused 7 fights 

 **yubaba** : also, our wishes came true 

 **Sugar Daddy** : really?

 **yubaba** : iwaizumi ran out of weapons to beat oikawa with so he beat him up with flowers 

 **miyagi** : iowa-chan

 **sheet review** : lmao tendou told me that it was really funny 

 **yubaba** : lmao it was i cried 

 **sheet review** : lmaoo

 **sheet review** : ew stop bonding with me, bitch 

 **yubaba** : i could say the same about you, fuckboy

 **miyagi** : that was sweet for about 7 seconds 

9:45 p.m.

 **milky** : my wish also came true.

 **milky** : strawberry milk tastes very good.

 **Sugar Daddy** : so pure 

 **fermentation** : GUYS 

 **fermentation** _sent a photo to_ " **420 blaze it** "

 **krispy kreme** : what

 **pretty boi** : ?

 **fermentation** : THIS IS FROM THE OFFICIAL LEMONADE MOUTH TWITTER PAGE 

 **miyagi** : holy shit 

 **Monopoly King™** : 3 spooky 5 me 

 **gaylien** : this is getting real spooky

 **semi-erect** : did you guys mess with a demon or some shit 

 **kazoo kid** : zoinks

 **pretty boi** : jinkies.

 **milky** : jeepers.

 **gaylien** : fuck 

 **miyagi** : my wish didn't come true tho 

 **pretty boi** : it will soon.

 **miyagi** : wdym

 **kazoo kid** _added_ **sucky** _to_ " **420 blaze it** "

 **sheet review** : who 

 **sucky** : hey i'm isumi sakishima :) 

 **pretty boi** : aren't you nohebi's setter?

 **sucky** : yeah 

 **sucky** : you're akaashi right 

 **pretty boi** : yes, nice to meet you.

 **sucky** : likewise :) 

 **pretty boi** : kenma, how did you get his skype?

 **pretty boi** : doesn't kuroo hate them?

 **Sugar Daddy** : yeah i was wondering the same thing 

 **kazoo kid** : i ran into daishou on the street

 **miyagi** : did you fight on sight

 **kazoo kid** : no

 **milky** : kuroo-san told me that daishou is an "evil snake bitch."

 **Sugar Daddy** : that kuroo is a bad influence

 **kazoo kid** : he really is 

 **kazoo kid** : anyways daishou asked me who i was texting

 **kazoo kid** : so i told him about the chat and he asked me to add his setter 

 **miyagi** : you're too nice for your own good

 **pretty boi** : ^ i agree. 

 **Sugar Daddy** : be more assertive!

 **fermentation** : ass

 **kazoo kid** : !!

 **sucky** : so here i am 

 **sucky** : but who else is in the chat 

 **semi-erect** : god oikawa why couldn't you do your job properly and add everyone from the start 

 **semi-erect** : i'm tired from intorducing myself all the time 

 **sheet review** : **introducing 

 **sheet review** : besides you don't need to introduce yourself anyways, nobody knows you 

 **krispy kreme** : ouch 

 **semi-erect** _left_ " **420 blaze it** "

 **sheet review** : oops

 **gaylien** : i guess that was his breaking point

 **miyagi** _added_ **semi-erect** _to_ " **420 blaze it** "

 **semi-erect** : this is homophobia and i will not stand for it 

 **fermentation** : are you a home of sexual 

 **fermentation** : i meant homosexual 

 **miyagi** _changed_ " **420 blaze it** " _to_ " **home of sexuals** "

 **fermentation** : okay so i'm high 

 **fermentation** : you got me 

 **pretty boi** : again?

 **miyagi** : it's high noon 

 **fermentation** : ayyy lmao

 **miyagi** : ayyy lmao

 **sucky** : nvm, i read all the way up so i know who you guys are :) 

 **gaylien** : AW

 **gaylien** : SEMI

 **gaylien** : YOU MADE HIM FEEL BAD 

 **gaylien** : YOU DICK

 **sheet review** : yeah, you dick

 **semi-erect** : everyday i'm victimized by this chat 

 **semi-erect** : homophobia at its finest

 **miyagi** : home of sexuals

 **sucky** : okay

 **sucky** : you guys seem pretty cool, thanks for letting me in the chat :)

 **gaylien** : the more the merrier :))

 **milky** : why does kuroo-san hate nohebi, they seem so kind.

 **milky** : what's so bad about them? 

 **miyagi** : yeah who is this daishou character

 **sucky** _sent a photo to_ " **home of sexuals** "

 **sucky** : this is him

 **miyagi** : damn he's lowkey fine 

 **miyagi** : i'm sending this photo to terushima

 **fermentation** : too late 

 **fermentation** : i already did 

 **fermentation** : i know his type and this guy is definitely his type 

 **semi-erect** : TERUSHIMA

 **milky** : please stop activating him. 

 **miyagi** : looks like my wish came true after all

 **sucky** : what wish

 **kazoo kid** : it's a long story 

 **pretty boi** : a very long story.

 **milky** : i still don't understand why kuroo-san hates them. 

 **sucky** : haha just don't get me mad and you don't have to find out :) 

 **gaylien** : these smiley faces are progressively getting more passive aggressive 

 **sucky** : :) 

 **sheet review** : all of a sudden i have a bad feeling 

 **miyagi** : well mark me down as scared 

 **miyagi** : and horny 

 **sucky** : ;) 

12:56 a.m.

 **gaylien** : guys i just realized

 **gaylien** : the pretty setter squad is complete 

 **pretty boi** : pretty?

 **sucky** : :)

 **sheet review** : you have some audacity to ask that, "pretty boi"

 **pretty boi** : i didn't make this username.

 **miyagi** : that's right bitches i'm the prettiest one here

 **gaylien** : ...

 **gaylien** : let's save this discussion for another time

 **yubaba** : i'm pretty sure that there's way more setters that need to be added

 **gaylien** : I'M NOT ADDING ANY MORE 

 **gaylien** : I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE LAST 3 PEOPLE ADDED TO THIS CHAT

 **Monopoly King™** : tragic

 **gaylien** : ANYWAYS

 **gaylien** : W E  

 **krispy kreme** : A R E 

 **semi-erect** : T H E 

 **fermentation** : H O M O S E X U A L S 

 **gaylien** : YOU RUINED IT 

 **gaylien** : WE WANTED TO SAY "WE ARE THE ULTIMATE PRETTY SETTER"

 **sucky** : lmao

 **yubaba** : lmao

 **semi-erect** : are you high again 

 **milky** : stoner.

 **fermentation** : no 

 **fermentation** : i'm only a stoner when i'm high

 **sheet review** : i hate you all 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaoo i'm getting my phone taken away at the end of this week. i can't wait to die because i finally beat out my writer's block but oh well.


	5. operation: get terushima some dick 2k17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> miyagi: why are you homophobic 
> 
> gaylien: me? homophobic?
> 
> gaylien: i'll have you know that i fully support the lmfao+ community

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this chapter is kinda late. feel free to sue me. also, there's an author note at the bottom that you should probably read (mild spoiler if you're not entirely caught up on the manga). anyways, enjoy this trash! :)

11:26 a.m. 

 **fermentation** : FUCK

 **fermentation** : GUYS 

 **fermentation** : HELP ME 

 **pretty boi** : what happened? 

 **sucky** : i'll help you hide the body 

 **pretty** **boi** : i can't go back to jail.

 **kazoo** **kid** : lmao 

 **Sugar** **Daddy** : what? 

 **pretty** **boi** : what? 

 **yubaba** : are you okay 

 **sheet review** : i don't care 

 **sheet** **review** : but what happened 

 **semi-erect** : tsundere

 **sheet review** : shut up, emo

 **miyagi** : s-shut up semi-senpai! i'm not a t-tsundere!! >///< 

 **Monopoly King™** : what the fuck

 **sheet review** : what the fuck

 **semi-erect** : what the fuck 

 **yubaba** : i wish there was a way to delete other people's messages 

 **krispy kreme** : what is a tsudnere 

 **sheet review** : **tsundere

 **yubaba** : stop correcting everyone's grammar, you can't even type correctly 

 **sheet review** : shut up 

 **semi-erect** : a tsundere is someone who pretends to hate something they like

 **gaylien** : aka shirabu

 **sheet review** : shut the up 

 **miyagi** : "shut the up" 

 **pretty boi** : how do you know what a tsundere is?

 **semi-erect** : tendou really likes manga okay

 **pretty boi** : ah. 

 **milky** : do these tsundere people exist outside of manga?

 **gaylien** : yeah

 **gaylien** : just look in the mirror

 **kazoo kid** : lmao

 **Sugar Daddy** : shut your mouth, E.T. 

 **gaylien** : stop attacking me for the truth!!

 **fermentation** : okay but like

 **fermentation** : terushima will be the death of me 

 **semi-erect** : TERUSHIMA

 **Sugar Daddy** : why? 

 **fermentation** : he's going all the way to tokyo 

 **fermentation** : to get some dick

 **krispy kreme** : at least i'm safe inside my mind 

 **semi-erect** : what 

 **sucky** : is this about daishou

 **gaylien** : probably 

 **fermentation** : yeah lmao

 **sucky** : ahh

 **fermentation** : fuck why did i set them up

 **fermentation** : i'm pretty sure they've had phone sex at least 3 times

 **gaylien** : need me a freak like that 

 **fermentation** : and now he wants to surprise him

 **fermentation** : and he's dragging me along 

 **sucky** : ohh third-wheeling really sucks 

 **Sugar Daddy** : why not just take the train?

 **yubaba** : he's not allowed on trains anymore  

 **sheet review** : how the fuck do you know that 

 **yubaba** : i have 56 pictures of him 

 **yubaba** : and 13 of them are from the infamous miyagi train incident of 2016™

 **semi-erect** : wild 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i mean, i could drive you if you wanted?

 **fermentation** : you'd actually do that 

 **Sugar Daddy** : sure thing 

 **gaylien** : what an angel 

 **pretty boi** : ^ i agree.

 **gaylien** : you agree with everything

 **pretty boi** : ^ i don't agree.

 **sucky** : yeah i could bring daishou somewhere and then terushima can show up and surprise him

 **fermentation** : you guys are too good to me 

 **sucky** : :) 

 **kazoo kid** : you could bring him to that new maid café that opened up 

 **pretty boi** : the one with the life-sized cardboard cutout of naruto standing outside of it?

 **kazoo kid** : yeah lmao

 **sucky** : good idea :) 

 **Sugar Daddy** : why is there a cardboard cutout of naruto in a maid café? 

 **pretty boi** : honestly i have no idea. 

 **Monopoly King™** : what is naruto even about

 **milky** : 12 years ago, a nine-tailed fox appeared. if you believe it! naruto! naruto! believe it! belieeeeeeeeeeeve it! yeah here i am with my ninja clan. ninja clan. here we stand. naruto! i’m on my way. naruto! i’ll be okay. getting ready to fight on sight. my best friends by my side. sa-soo-kay - is really cool. sakura - the beautiful.

 **gaylien** : a human meme

 **sheet review** : what the fuck 

 **yubaba** : what the fuck 

 **krispy kreme** : what in tarnation

 **Sugar Daddy** : is naruto dangerous for children 

 **kazoo kid** : lmao

 **gaylien** : i want in on this plan tho 

 **milky** : what plan?

 **miyagi**   _changed_ " **home of sexuals** " _to_ " **operation: get terushima some dick 2k17** "

 **semi-erect** : what the fuck

 **milky** : suddenly i don't want to be apart of this plan. 

 **sheet review** : don't try to act innocent after that weird ass naruto paragraph

 **gaylien** : GUYS

 **gaylien** : i just had the best idea!!

 **Monopoly King™** : i hope i don't regret saying this, but what is it 

 **gaylien** : we should all meet up in tokyo!!

 **miyagi** : interesting 

 **gaylien** : it'd be a pretty setter convention 

 **krispy kreme** : (+ terushima) 

 **sheet review** : no offense but i'd rather die 

 **yubaba** : then die :)

 **sheet review** : ladies first :)  

 **pretty boi** : would it be just us?

 **gaylien** : of course 

 **yubaba** : make sure tendou isn't reading over your shoulder, semi

 **semi-erect** : it was one time 

 **gaylien** : one time that pushed me to the brink of killing myself 

 **Monopoly King™** : how would we all get there 

 **milky** : by train?

 **fermentation** : wait no terushima isn't allowed on trains

 **Sugar Daddy** : i don't think there's a car big enough for all of us 

 **krispy kreme** : [adjusts cowboy hat] this town ain't big enough for the 2 of us 

 **gaylien** : LET'S RENT A LIMO 

 **milky** : that's a little extreme. 

 **miyagi** : YEEHAW

 **semi-erect** : you guys are so extra 

 **Monopoly King™** : do i look like i'm made of money 

 **sheet review** : aren't you the monopoly king™

 **Monopoly King™** : MONOPOLY MONEY IS NOT REAL CURRENCY 

 **krispy kreme** : [spits in a nearby bucket] what in tarnation 

 **pretty boi** : a limo is expensive.

 **gaylien** : thanks for the insight, akaashi

 **sucky** : don't worry :)

 **sucky** : daishou's parents are good friends with the ceo of a limo company :)

 **gaylien** : bless 

 **sheet review** : is terushima proposing 

 **sheet review** : why do we need a limo 

 **fermentation** : from the way he skypes daishou

 **fermentation** : i'd say yes 

 **semi-erect** : s i n n e r s 

 **gaylien** : it's decided, we're renting a limo

 **pretty boi** : okay i guess.

 **semi-erect** : [pushes through the door to the saloon] them city slickers will ever understand 

 **fermentation** : [feeds horse] woah there buckaroo

 **kazoo kid** : miyagi might be in the country

 **kazoo kid** : but it's not the wild west 

 **Monopoly King** : [pulls out revolver] what'd you just say about me, partner 

 **semi-erect** : [kisses cousin] i'll be damned if a city slicker tells me how to live my life

 **miyagi** : COUSIN

 **sucky** : oh

 **Monopoly King™** : HAHAHA 

 **gaylien** : out of pocket 

 **sheet review** : i hate you all

 **yubaba** : suck my dick :)

 **sheet review** : in your dreams :)

 **yubaba** : more like my nightmares, bitch :)

 **sheet review** : then stop thinking of me before you sleep, fucker :)

 **milky** : stop flirting. 

 **miyagi** : i sense sexual tension 

 **yubaba** : shut up 

 **sheet review** : shut up, milk fucker 

 **sheet review** : why don't you fix your ugly ass bangs then come talk to me 

 **miyagi** : i love it when you talk dirty ;)

 **gaylien** : yeah he's swearing 2x as much today 

 **semi-erect** : ^ don't worry he's not mad

 **kazoo kid** : how do you know that 

 **semi-erect** : he's not making any typos 

 **sheet review** : shut yory ugky face the fuck

 **semi-erect** : now he's mad 

 **milky** : my bangs? 

 **milky** : what about yours? 

 **gaylien** : ooh

 **miyagi** : #roasted 

 **sucky** : i love a quality roast :) 

 **krispy kreme** : krispy

 **sheet review** : do you really want to play this game with me 

 **milky** : if i can recall correctly, the last time we played a game, i actually won.

 **miyagi** : #roasted

 **Sugar Daddy** : my son 

 **gaylien** : what a little shit 

 **gaylien** : i'm so proud??

 **Monopoly King™** : HAHAHA

 **gaylien** : the kouhai i never had 

 **krispy kreme** : [wipes tear, softly whispers] yeehaw 

 **sheet review** : yoy little shit you are so fuckugn ugky at leas t my teammates actuasulky like me unlik yoy the king of the trash

 **pretty boi** : oh god.

 **krispy kreme** : i can't speak spanish

 **fermentation** : am i high or did that make 0 sense

 **yubaba** : both

 **fermentation** : lmao true

 **milky** : doesn't semi-san actually hate you? i'm pretty sure my teammates actually value my existence.

 **Sugar Daddy** : f i n i s h

 **gaylien** : h i m 

 **kazoo kid** : lmao guys let's not do this 

 **pretty boi** : ^ i agree. 

 **yubaba** : i'm conflicted

 **yubaba** : kageyama was being a little shit to me earlier

 **yubaba** : and i want shirabu to die

 **yubaba** : but who do i hate more at the moment 

 **gaylien** : impossible

 **gaylien** : you hate everyone 

 **yubaba** : true 

 **gaylien** : except your mad d0gy 

 **yubaba** : disconnect your wifi

 **sucky** : this is getting interesting

 **miyagi** : sneaky snake ;)

 **sucky** : ;)

 **Monopoly King™** : spicy  

 **semi-erect** : keep me out of this 

 **sheet review** : i coiuldn't giv a flyikng fkuck aboyt what smei thinkds

 **sheet review** : the entire aboba josai team is livign proof tht everone haets yoy 

 **semi-erect** : did you really just call me smei

 **miyagi** : tag yourself i'm "smei"

 **kazoo kid** : i'm "fcuck"

 **gaylien** : i'm "aboba josai"

 **pretty boi** : i'm done.

 **miyagi** : that's not how the game works

 **milky** : fool.

 **milky** : i had lunch with them last weekend.

 **gaylien** : YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP THAT A SECRET 

 **semi-erect** : what

 **semi-erect** : oikawa doesn't actually hate kageyama

 **Sugar Daddy** : who could ever hate kageyma

 **Sugar Daddy** : even oikawa isn't that despicable 

 **gaylien** : THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS 

 **fernentation** : despicable me 3 

 **yubaba** : here we go 

 **pretty boi** : i am not understanding.

 **sheet review** : in comcluson

 **sheet review** : you can all suck my ass 

 **milky** : what ass?

 **sheet review** _left_ " **operation: get terushima some dick 2k17** "

 **semi-erect** : i can't believe you did it 

 **semi-erect** : you wrecked him 

 **krispy kreme** : #rekt

 **miyagi** : i wanna wreck him too the fuck

 **gaylien** : this is no time to be gay 

 **miyagi** : why are you homophobic 

 **gaylien** : me? homophobic?

 **gaylien** : i'll have you know that i fully support the lmfao+ community 

 **fermentation** : lmfao

 **Monopoly King™** : i have no words 

 **pretty boi** : did you guys just sabotage your own trip to tokyo? 

 **Sugar Daddy** : no we can fix this 

 **gaylien** : you were instigating this 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i can't help it if i love my son 

 **kazoo kid** : you guys are messy 

 **kazoo kid** : fix yourselves 

 **miyagi** : so now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us 

 **krispy kreme** : [spits] them city slickers are downright lookin down at us 

 **sucky** : ^ this is why we are looking down on you 

 **Sugar Daddy** : okay fine 

 **Sugar Daddy** : kageyama, can you apologize to shirabu.

 **milky** : no thank you. 

 **Sugar Daddy** : let me fix that

 **Sugar Daddy** : kagyema, apologize to shirabu.

 **gaylien** : wait but

 **gaylien** : tobio-chan did nothing wrong 

 **yubaba** : you're defending him

 **yubaba** : holy fuck

 **gaylien** : let's not get ahead of ourselves!!

 **gaylien** : tobio-chan simply said "stop flirting"

 **gaylien** : shirabu was the one to provoke him and start the fight 

 **kazoo kid** : ace attorney 

 **semi-erect** : dangan ronpa

 **kazoo kid** : oh

 **semi-erect** : oh

 **Sugar Daddy** : i have full custody of this child

 **Monopoly King™** : what about daichi

 **Sugar Daddy** : i have full custody of this child 

 **Monopoly King™** : ok 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i am the backbone of this household 

 **Monopoly King™** : ok 

 **semi-erect** : shirabu might actually be considering sewerside 

 **semi-erect** : i'm going over to check on him 

 **miyagi** : lmao

 **miyagi** : you do that 

 **sucky** : ;)

 **semi-erect** : gross lmao we're barely friends 

 **yubaba** : that sounds like a nervous "lmao"

 **semi-erect** : how can you hear it through the screen

 **yubaba** : i have 31 pictures of you, don't test me

 **semi-erect** : if i give you 20 more pictures of shirabu

 **semi-erect** : will you delete 10 of mine'

 **yubaba** : deal 

 **fermentation** : did i just witness a drug deal

 **fermentation** : without me 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i can't believe this 

 **miyagi** : semi x shirabu 4ever

 **semi-erect** : shirabu and i are not together lmaoo

 **gaylien** : then why are you going over to his dorm to comfort him after he got roasted online

 **sucky** : damn 

 **fermentation** : [jeapordy music plays] 

 **semi-erect** : i don't need to justify my actions to someone who isn't allowed in the aquarium anymore 

 **gaylien** : IT WAS ONE TIME 

 **yubaba** : one times too many

 **milky** : ?

 **gaylien** : stop making this about me 

 **gaylien** : this is about you and your boyfriend 

 **semi-erect** : i actually hate him 

 **miyagi** : sure 

 **sucky** : ;) 

 **semi-erect** : WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING 

3:22 a.m. 

 **semi-erect** : GUYS WE DID SOMETHING 

 **gaylien** : HOLY SHIT 

 **gaylien** : SUGA OWES ME TEN DOLLARS

 **milky** : oh god. 

 **kazoo kid** : akaashi owes me ten dollars as well

 **semi-erect** : YOU BET ON THIS 

 **pretty boi** : why did you expose me, kenma?

 **kazoo kid** : lmao

 **sucky** : ;) 

 **yubaba** : oh my fucking god 

 **miyagi** : I KNEW IT 

 **miyagi** : I FUCKING CALLED IT 

 **sucky** : i'm scandalized 

 **semi-erect** : GUYS HOLY FUCK 

 **semi-erect** : ONE MINUTE I'M TALKING TO HIM AND THE NEXT HE'S ON MY LAP 

 **yubaba** : please spare us the details 

 **miyagi** : oh no 

 **miyagi** : what is this feeling 

 **milky** : don't do it. 

 **miyagi** : I'M NUTTING 

 **pretty boi** : stop activating him.

 **semi-erect** : LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

 **semi-erect** : I LITERALLY SAID "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT ROASTED BY KAGEYAMA"

 **semi-erect** : AND HE SAID "SHUT UP"

 **semi-erect** : AND THEN I SAID "MAKE ME"

 **fermentation** : he shut your ass up real good lmao

 **semi-erect** : i think i'm dead inside 

 **semi-erect** : what do i do

 **milky** : i really wish i didn't check my notifications. 

 **sucky** : you should be honest with your feelings 

 **semi-erect** : what are those

 **gaylien** : pause 

 **gaylien** : does that mean that you guys are friends with benefits

 **semi-erect** : we're not even friends

 **miyagi** : enemies with benefits

 **kazoo kid** : yikes

 **krispy kreme** : romeo and juliet who

 **semi-erect** : what 

 **semi-erect** : a little help here 

 **sucky** : just get shirabu to "help" you ;) 

 **fermentation** : friends with benefits seems okay

 **fermentation** : just look at most of you guys and terushima

 **pretty boi** : true.

 **kazoo kid** : ^ 

 **semi-erect** : this isn't helping

 **gaylien** : just be normal 

 **gaylien** : if he talks to you about it later, just say that it was nothing

 **semi-erect** : what do you mean

 **gaylien** : be nonchalant about it

 **semi-erect** : what if it wasn't nothing

 **semi-erect** : fuck i can't stop thinking about it 

 **miyagi** : your username lives up to your legend

 **pretty boi** : did you leave after?

 **semi-erect** : no

 **sucky** : wait 

 **sucky** : where are you right now 

 **semi-erect** : in bed 

 **Monopoly King™** : with whom 

 **miyagi** : whom'st'd

 **semi-erect** : shirabu

 **gaylien** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **miyagi** : absolute legend

 **krispy kreme** : [screeching intensifies]

 **gaylien** : you guys are too cute i can't 

 **semi-erect** : smh 

 **semi-erect** : i'm having a crisis 

 **semi-erect** : and you guys are all neglecting me 

 **Sugar Daddy** : no offense but could you guys kindly shut the fuck up i'm trying to sleep for this dumb tokyo trip that you guys came up with

 **Sugar Daddy** : also semi

 **Sugar Daddy** : get your head out of your ass and face your problems head on, if he wants to continue fucking then do it and if he doesn't then don't 

 **Sugar Daddy** : now go the fuck to sleep 

 **semi-erect** : damn 

 **miyagi** : d a d d y 

 **gaylien** : exactly 

 **kazoo kid** : that's all folks 

 **miyagi** : time to bed

 **fermentation** : "time to bed" 

 **milky** : i am scared.

 **yubaba** : that was something alright 

 **pretty boi** : you guys do know that shirabu will see these messages once he's added back, right?

 **semi-erect** : fuck

9:28 a.m.

 **sucky** : so we're all gonna meet up in the café, right 

 **yubaba** : yeah 

 **sucky** : okay cool, i told daishou and he totally bought it :) 

 **krispy kreme** : if this plan fails, then true love is surely dead 

 **Sugar Daddy** : good morning guys :)

 **Sugar Daddy** : i can't wait for the tokyo trip 

 **sucky** : interesting

 **gaylien** : if there even is one after semi and shirabu's gay awakening 

 **semi-erect** : wow fuck you

 **gaylien** : save it for shirabu ;)

 **yubaba** : lmao

 **pretty boi** : shouldn't we add shirabu back into the chat?

 **fermentation** : guys quick delete your messages 

 **semi-erect** _added_ **sheet review** _to_ " **operation: get terushima some dick 2k17** "

 **miyagi** : here we go

 **milky** : good morning shirabu-san, i'm very sorry for the way i behaved earlier. i hope you can find it in your cold, dead heart to forgive me.

 **Sugar Daddy** : kageyama!!

 **sheet review** : no it's okay

 **milky** : are you sure?

 **sheet review** : yeah i already forgot about it

 **semi-erect** : no you haven't

 **sheet review** : delete your account

 **miyagi** : glad to have you back 

 **yubaba** : the chat was amazing without you, shitty 

 **sheet review** : eradicate yourself 

 **yubaba** : so how was last night 

 **pretty boi** : stop right there.

 **gaylien** : stop!

 **gaylien** : you have violated the law

 **miyagi** : was it sensational 

 **sheet review** : excuse me 

 **miyagi** : your night

 **semi-erect** : lmao guys let's not do this 

 **sheet review** : when we get inside that limo to go to tokyo, i'm going to beat up at least 4 of you 

 **miyagi** : i didn't know that you were into that sorta thing 

 **Monopoly King™** : i'm kinkshaming 

 **sheet review** : you can all eat my shit 

 **Monopoly King™** : k i n k s h a m i n g 

4:08 p.m.

 **gaylien** : i can't wait for tomorrow 

 **gaylien** : is it cold in tokyo

 **kazoo kid** : kinda 

 **sucky** : i can't believe i finally get to meet you guys :)

 **fermentation** : it's gonna be lit 

 **pretty boi** : don't get high. 

 **fermentation** : too late 

 **Sugar Daddy** : should i bring sunscreen 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i already packed the first aid kit, the snacks and the water 

 **gaylien** : mom 

 **miyagi** : no he's daddy

 **sucky** : it's not that sunny so you don't have to 

 **sheet review** : if you show up in a fanny pack i can't associate with you 

 **Sugar Daddy** : nonsense 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i'm bringing a small backpack

 **kazoo kid** : don't look like an extreme tourist 

 **kazoo kid** : you might get mugged 

 **pretty boi** : ^ i agree. 

 **semi-erect** : wait so where is the limo going to pick us up 

 **sucky** : karasuno

 **gaylien** : i don't agree 

 **sheet review** : that's probably not the best idea 

 **sucky** : well it's already decided :) 

 **sucky** : so who's gonna sit next to terushima

 **krispy kreme** : not it 

 **semi-erect** : not it 

 **sheet review** : not it 

 **kazoo kid** : not it 

 **gaylien** : not it 

 **milky** : not it. 

 **Sugar Daddy** : not it 

 **Monopoly King™** : not it 

 **yubaba** : not it 

 **fermentation** : damn it 

 **gaylien** : aren't you his best friend 

 **fermentation** : yeah 

 **gaylien** : oaky 

 **sheet review** : what about miya

 **miyagi** : oh i forgot to mention it but

 **miyagi** : i'm not going in the limo with you guys, i have my own ride 

 **semi-erect** : smh miya

 **gaylien** : (secret boyfriend)

 **miyagi** : no 

 **miyagi** : (i wish) 

 **Monopoly King™** : stop communicating in parenthesis 

 **fermentation** : well i guess i'll sit with him 

 **sheet review** : why don't you want to sit with him

 **fermentation** : let's just say that terushima gets carsick very easily 

 **Sugar Daddy** : wouldn't that be a good thing to mention before we rented the limo

 **sucky** : oh god 

 **gaylien** : no offense 

 **gaylien** : but if he throws up inside the limo then i'm suing 

 **Sugar Daddy** : i'll bring a paper bag 

9:41 p.m. 

 **sheet review** : by the way 

 **sheet review** : you guys didn't delete your messages fast enough because i still saw everything 

 **semi-erect** : fuck 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: spoiler! (kinda)
> 
> so in the manga, it's not actually disclosed what school miya is from. i don't know what prefecture he's from so it would be weird for me to put him in the limo with the other guys who are traveling to tokyo because what if he's actually from tokyo? i don't know if it really makes sense, but i'm writing him while i'm keeping in mind that there's not a lot of released info on his character. 
> 
> feel free to ask me questions in the comments if it still doesn't make that much sense! i'm also making a tumblr page so you guys can send me prompts, and ask questions, or just talk :)
> 
> thank you all for all the kudos, bookmarks and comments! it means a lot to me. i'm really grateful to be apart of such a cool fandom. so thanks for all the love :)


End file.
